Some people prefer to use the mobile phone when they are at bus or plane.后面那句不要，这样才能和你后面on the contrary 对应。 The most significant reason is that 【using cells, especially on the plane】 is too dangerous. For example, we use mobile phone, when plane is flying.这句看着别扭。连着后面几句改成下面imagine this, one uses cells when the plane is to land. often, the signals sent out by cells disturbs that from the ground station, pilot in this way can not get the correct instruction, the result of which may be some serious air crash. Hence, no one has right to do something which is an unfriendly这词不妥impolitely to other people including using cell phone. Image that you are sleeping or want to quiet place, but there is a people who is talking loudly. 前句是说公共场合，后句貌似就不是了。后面的内容也是同样的问题，建议修改此段内容。 开头及结尾貌似模板套出来的- - 好处说的不够透彻，也就是倒数第二段。好处如：urgent times, cells aim us a way to call for help.不过T貌似不要求那么逻辑。。但这段从内容上来看确实空缺了不少。 总的来说，可能3-4分左右(5分满分)，开头结尾还行，3段内容不太恰当，用词用句能力还需要提高~ 加油！